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Circus of the Stars
The Legacy of John Hughes: Lost Youth PDF Print E-mail
Written by Mali Perl   
ImageThere are certain elements that exist in every John Hughes movie: someone lives on the wrong side of the tracks (and there are actual tracks); money is a big part of people’s lives, whether they have it or they don’t; the music is perfect; and the beautiful agony of being a teenager is treated, for once, with respect and kindness.
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The Revolution Will Not Be Negotiated PDF Print E-mail
Written by Mali Perl   

ImageWilliam Morris Endeavor, the new powerhouse agency, announced to its assistants that their pay will be reduced to between $10 to $14 hours.  Being an assistant at an agency is a training program that can best be described as a mix of boot camp, Abu Ghraib and the worst fraternity on campus.  For these Ivy league overachievers, the immediate goal is usually to get on a "good desk," become a junior agent and then wake up 10 years later as Ari Gold, the fictional counterpart to Ari Emmanuel, hopefully without remembering everything you did to get there.  This isn't for wimps or crybabies yet I imagine that being reduced to dogwalker wages (babysitters get paid more) would unleash (so to speak) a rebellion.  Is it possible that the coming weeks will bring guerilla warfare to WME?  What if…
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Memo from Ari Emmanuel PDF Print E-mail
Written by Mali Perl   

MEMORANDUM

FROM: Ari Emmanuel

TO: All @ WME        

If you’re reading this at your desk, congratulations on being part of the new world order.  It’s been a difficult few months for all of us as we’ve navigated the shifting economic landscape while creating a new agency.  I say all of us in the spirit of inclusion but obviously, this was more an issue for you than for me.  I don’t want to get all Ovitz Art of War on you but we’ve been waging this war for survival.

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How Celebrities Can Survive a Recession PDF Print E-mail
Written by Mali Perl   
Let’s face it, being a celebrity means not having to deal with life, reality or any combination of the two.  It also means that things like money, feelings and decisions are all handled by people paid to buffer away any unpleasantness.  Despite the many layers of gatekeepers, noises about the economy and the recession have filtered past the secured perimeters until celebrities can’t ignore that while none of it actually affects them, they have to pretend that it does so that people don’t think they’re “out of touch.”
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An Honest Oscar Acceptance Speech PDF Print E-mail
Written by Mali Perl   

Courtesy of McSweeneys.com

ImageThank you (dabs under eyes) ... oh, my God, thank you so much (heaves sob that enhances cleavage), this is so ... richly deserved. First of all, thank you to the academy, because it's been a while since they rewarded real talent. To the other magnificent ladies nominated in my category, I'm so lucky to be in your company and even luckier to be the one standing onstage. You were all an inspiration to me when I was such a little, little girl and to win this while you're stewing down there is ... very sweet...

Visit McSweeneys.com for the rest of the speech.

 
Celebrity Twitter: Pre-Oscar Tweets PDF Print E-mail
Written by Mali Perl   
Let’s be honest, you really don’t care what your friends are doing because the answers will most likely revolve around food, places you weren’t invited to or revelations you would have better off not knowing.
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My 2009 Celebrity Gossip Resolutions PDF Print E-mail
Written by Mali Perl   
ImageCelebrities, as they and their publicists are the first to tell you, are givers. And this year, despite global chaos, they managed to fulfill their obligations to us, albeit in a subdued style.
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About Mali Perl

Mali Perl

Mali Perl graduated magna cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa from Queens College, which has the distinction of having both Jerry Seinfeld and Fran Drescher as alums but not enough parking. Having chosen the practical major of creative writing, she won awards for playwriting while contributing to her college newspaper. After graduation, she realized that she needed to pay for things and followed her minor, business, to Wall Street where she enjoys riding the stock market roller coaster.  Her pet peeves include people with two first names, broccoli, posers, excessive cell phone use and anyone who doesn't watch TV.  She likes eggrolls, good manners, US Weekly, moody British pop and black shoes.  Her personal motto is wherever you go, there you are.

She can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

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