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Greetings kind reader! Who would have thought that we'd get to Chapter 6? Ha ha! Who would have thought that I (your loyal purveyor of temping's ugly truths and overall denouement) would still be temping after all these long months? Insert golf clap here. Who of you would have thought that I would be able to go from laughing hysterically, to sobbing, to laughing hysterically again all in the span of a few seconds? Ahhh sweet silence. But we must keep it together mustn't we? We don't want to be locked up like Renfield waiting for the Master to come do we? There is still wisdom to impart, and these next rules will help you make some extra money. Now - excuse me while I smell my hands and mutter incoherently to myself....
Rule #6: The Half-Hour Lunch Rule. California State law requires that you have both a meal-break and two breaks each day. (Btw I've been called a lot of things, including "inhuman" by an-ex roommate - but "Lawyer" is not one of them). Anyway, here's how I see it: anything over 40 hours/wk automatically adjusts your wage into a different category – it's a little something called "O.T." or time and a half. We industry folks know full well that no one adheres to those regulations. It would make base exploitation of the worker impossible. Yet, these extra dollars accumulated during the week can really add up in your paycheck when you're a temp and filling out your agency's time card. In this case the unlawful negligence on the part of the employer can work in the favor of the temp. Your goal then is to surpass 8 hrs per day - on paper.
This can be especially effective on your first few days temping on a long assignment and always effective if you're being moved around and re-assigned day to day. Take a half-hour lunch and eliminate your breaks as much as possible. You'll make extra money that way, and your goal should be to add at least ½ to 1 hour of O.T. everyday. Trust me it adds up. Now, say if after you've followed this rule for a while, some prying office sycophant says something like "We're supposed to take an hour for lunch everyday and our two fifteen minute breaks" – that's awesome. Your response (if you choose to do so) is simple: throw a little, "well this is news to me" posturing (Chapter 2). I'm also fond of the "I hope I haven't gotten anyone in trouble here" posturing - a little faux concern regarding the problems with the "system" can go a long way. You're just there to help after all. How could you know all of their rules – you're just a "temp"? Regardless – you'll be paid for your O.T. And the next job you move on to? Do the same fucking thing all over again. Rule #6.5: Like all the other Rules I have presented, view this one contextually. If your agency has booked you for a week or multi-week gig, spread the O.T. out as much as you can. On the low end say one half hour a day - or basically however much you can get away with. Over time (pun intended) you'll become aware of a particular job site's limits. On the other hand, if your agency is moving you around day to day - it's a motherfuckin' free for all!
Rule #7: Save some of the money you make while you're temping – It's tough. But with Rule # 2 in mind - it doesn't matter if it's $25 a paycheck - you can afford it, save it. If you're getting over-draft charges from your bank because you're in dire straights, open an account at a separate bank and stash your money there where you won't be subject to those bs overdraft fees. This will become your own private reserve. Use it for emergencies only - the kind that always seem to conveniently crop up when you're at your most broke. I know for me it's invariably my car. This reserve will supplement the Unemployment Insurance you'll get on the days/weeks/months that you don't find work (Rule #1). That's all for this week, but things are sure to heat up next week when I go in to detail regarding the Industry Nexus party where, to the horror of the other party-goers, I "sacrificed" a whole Ralph's Rotisserie chicken in an attempt to appease the gods of "Please get me a permanent and fulfilling job that pays well and will allow me to pay my student loans and support my drinking and maybe buy a new car or get the girlfriend off my back." |
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