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I recently read an excerpt of Eminem's book in Entertainment Weekly, and one of the first things he writes is that he's always known he has a temper. “It’s like I had this voice and I had to be heard,” he writes. And I thought to myself, “That sounds like me.” Now, it’s not that I’m comparing myself to Eminem, or to any other rapper for that matter, but I understand about having a temper. It’s strange, because as I kid I was very shy. My aggression and screaming started, oh, somewhere around the time I started working in the entertainment business. Perhaps that’s a coincidence, but probably not. As an assistant at William Morris, I was the assistant who always yelled at the boss. He pushed me and I pushed right back. I would yell at him down the hall, down the staircase, determined to have the last word. I had this need to make sure that my boss knew that I was smarter than him and wouldn’t take any indication that he didn’t realize that.
Needless to say, this is probably not the best way ascend the entertainment business ranks. Certainly it doesn’t work as a woman in this town (or any other town except perhaps Washington DC.) Instead of being labeled as “tough and aggressive, she doesn’t take shit,” it’s more like, “She’s a loose cannon, she’s a total bitch.” But the truth is that I don’t suffer fools easily, and believe me, I wish I did. Instead, I just can’t seem to get out of my own way. I actually told the assistant of a higher-up that her “lazy behavior was unacceptable” and was consequently fired for my effort. I’ve been fired for “insubordination” because I basically told a boss that he was an idiot. Obviously this wasn’t smart. As I’ve gotten older, I guess I’ve grown up. I still don’t suffer fools, and I’ll still occasionally yell at idiots, but hey, they deserve it. But I try to be a little more zen about things. People can’t help that they’re retarded and lazy, and I just need to keep control of that instinct to make sure they know just how retarded and lazy they are. Either that, or I should consider a career as white, redheaded rapper.
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