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 Three-and-a-half years ago my grad school professor sent me to the website goalfree.com, in what was clearly an attempt to set me straight about the state of my life . At the time, I was an ambitious, goal-setting person from the Tony Robbins school of self help; if you can imagine it, articulate it, and write it down, then you can and will achieve it.
And it’s true. “The Secret” ripped off this way of thinking: Want it and it will happen. It’s why I currently own a VW Beetle and work as a website producer. Three-and-a-half years ago I wrote down what I wanted, and look – I have them. Is this magic? No. By writing it down, I finally admitted what I wanted. Then I could consciously and/or subconsciously go after these goals. Fast-forward to now. I’ve achieved stuff. I’m doing ok financially, but clearly I should have written down “6 figure salary.” I have my VW Beetle, but clearly I should have mentioned “one that doesn’t have the ‘Check Engine’ light come on once a month.” Niether is the point. My point is: Now what? I can’t think of any fucking goals. [Pause. Tap fingers on keyboard without actually typing.] I have no idea what I want. Hmmm. Ok: Besides the two aforementioned caveats to my old goals, I’ll write down: “Some fucking respect at work.” Actually, is that a goal? It’s nothing I can attain on my own, so no, that’s not a goal. Delete the respect thing. [Sigh] I have no goals. Which brings me back to goalfree.com. The purpose of that site was to promote the book “Goal-free Living” by Stephen Shapiro. At the time, I took the online quiz and discovered that my “goalaholic score” was a 76 out of 90 (an ideal range is between 15 and 29), and “Perhaps it’s time to check yourself into rehab.” Honest to god, the book said that. "Goals have a stranglehold on your life. You have elected to put your happiness on hold for the promise of a better tomorrow, but often find that tomorrow never comes." Hmmm. A month ago I actually bought “Goal-free Living.” I wanted to know how I could live my life with no goals. Wasn’t that lazy? Wouldn’t I slip into Sick Day mode and never leave the house? Turns out, No. Goal-free living is about living in the present. About having the ability to be so centered, so in-the-moment, that you can see the possibilities and opportunities around you. Anyone who has read Eckhart Tolle will understand goal-free living. It doesn’t surprise me that I suck at it, because I am the poster child for one foot in the past and one in the future. Right Now is just something to get through on my way to something better. But there is something enlightening here. The best decisions that I’ve ever made were ridiculous choices that came from my heart, not my head. Move to Los Angeles where I knew exactly one person. Quit a job out of principle. Go to grad school for no apparent reason. These were risky choices, made with no real goal in mind, that led to some of the happiest and productive times of my life. So to end this rather long post, I’m going to set a goal. (Irony Alert.) According to “Goal-Free Living,” the secret to finding a direction in life is to find something that inspires you. “Ditch the map and follow your compass,” it says. And how to do that? By balancing passion, skills, and value. What do I care about? What am I good at? What can I offer the world that will be of value? I honestly don’t know the answer to any of those. So I will make that the goal and see if it works.I'll check in later and let you know how I'm doing.
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